Elizabeth Cady Stanton was a woman ahead of her time. She fought tirelessly for women’s rights, wrote persuasive arguments for justice, and raised seven children to be resilient and independent. But perhaps one of her most profound legacies is the lesson she leaves us about having the courage to stand for what you believe in—even when you may never see the results in your lifetime.
Parenting with Resilience in Mind
One of the most remarkable aspects of Elizabeth’s life was how she balanced her role as both a revolutionary and a mother. Unlike her lifelong friend and fellow activist Susan B. Anthony, who remained single to fully devote herself to the cause, Elizabeth chose both family life and activism. She did not see these roles as opposing forces but as complementary ones.
Elizabeth believed in teaching her children self-reliance from an early age. She refused to wake them in the morning, expecting them to take responsibility for their own schedules. She wanted them to be industrious, independent thinkers, just as she was. Imagine a house full of children figuring out how to start their day without a parent hovering over them! This small but powerful lesson instilled a sense of personal responsibility in her children—something we as parents can learn from today.
In modern parenting, it can be tempting to solve all of our children’s problems, to smooth the way for them so they never have to experience struggle. But Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s approach reminds us that true resilience is built through experience, failure, and the necessity of problem-solving. Sometimes, the best thing we can do as parents is step back and let our children figure things out on their own while providing emotional support and encouragement from the sidelines.
I experienced this lesson firsthand when my daughter, who had saved money over the summer to pay for school, found herself out of funds by November. Instead of stepping in with financial support or job searches, I simply asked, “That sounds really hard. What are you going to do?” The pause in her voice told me she hadn’t expected that response. But then she started brainstorming ideas—teaching voice lessons, reaching out to assisted living communities, and taking initiative on her own. She grew more confident with each step she took. It was a powerful reminder that allowing our children to struggle and problem-solve fosters resilience far better than rescuing them ever could.
The Courage to Stand for What’s Right
Elizabeth’s courage extended far beyond her home life. She was a force to be reckoned with in the fight for women’s rights. She helped organize the Seneca Falls Convention in 1848 and penned the Declaration of Sentiments, which boldly declared,
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal.”
Elizabeth Cady Stanton from “The Declaration of Sentiments” 1848
At a time when women were considered too ignorant to own property, keep custody of their own children, or vote, Elizabeth dared to demand equality. She co-founded the National Woman Suffrage Association and worked alongside Susan B. Anthony to push for change. But their friendship was not without struggle—especially when the 15th Amendment granted Black men the right to vote but left women behind. Elizabeth was unwavering in her belief that all people, regardless of race or gender, deserved equal rights. Her willingness to take an unpopular stance ultimately cost her support from some allies, but she never wavered in her convictions.
She wrote passionately about women’s need for self-reliance in her speech, The Solitude of Self:
“In the solitude of self, whether we are rich or poor, educated or ignorant, we must depend on ourselves. The strongest reason for giving women all the opportunities for higher education, for the full development of her faculties, forces of mind and body… is the solitude and personal responsibility of her own individual life.”
Elizabeth Cady Stanton from “Solitude of Self” 1892
Waiting for the Dream to Become Reality
Elizabeth spent decades fighting for the right to vote, but she never got to see the day women finally won that right. The 19th Amendment, which gave women the vote, was passed in 1920—18 years after her death. The amendment itself was the exact wording she and Susan B. Anthony had proposed to Congress 45 years earlier. Imagine working tirelessly for something, knowing that the fruits of your labor may not come in your lifetime. That takes immense faith and courage.
Interestingly, the amendment nearly failed. It was passed by a single vote, thanks to a 22-year-old Tennessee legislator named Harry Burn. Initially, he planned to vote against women’s suffrage. But tucked inside his pocket was a letter from his mother:
“Dear son, vote for suffrage and don’t keep them in doubt. I noted some of the speeches against. They were very bitter. I have been watching to see how you stood, but have not seen anything yet. Don’t forget to be a good boy. With lots of love, Mama.”
Harry Burn, Legislator from Tennessee, 1919
In the end, Harry listened to his mother’s advice and cast the deciding vote in favor of women’s suffrage. When asked why he changed his mind, he simply said, “I know a mother’s advice is always safest for a boy to follow.”
As mothers, we may not always see the direct results of our influence, but our words, values, and examples shape the next generation in ways we may never fully realize.
A Legacy of Courage
Elizabeth Cady Stanton once said, “The best protection any woman can have is courage.” And she lived by those words.
Her life teaches us that standing up for what is right, even when it is unpopular or when the results seem far off, is always worth it. It teaches us that true change takes time and perseverance. And it reminds us that our influence as parents—especially in raising resilient, independent children—extends far beyond what we can immediately see.
So, as we reflect on her life, let’s take her lessons to heart: Stand firm in your convictions. Teach your children resilience. And trust that even if you don’t see the results of your work today, the seeds you plant will grow in the future.
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