Emma Smith: A Journey Through Strength and Resilience

A Complex Yet Relatable Woman

Emma Smith has often been described as complicated, but I don’t believe she is any more complicated than any of us. She was a woman who faced life’s uncertainties with courage, stepping forward to follow her heart and fiercely dedicating herself to her husband and children. Emma was a teacher, a businesswoman who owned a dairy, and a woman who valued education and wisdom.

Before Joseph’s martyrdom, Emma asked for a blessing from him. This blessing, written by Emma herself and signed by Joseph, holds a place in the scriptures just like any revelation in the Doctrine and Covenants. In this blessing, Emma expressed her desire for wisdom:

“First of all that I would crave as the richest of heaven’s blessings would be wisdom from my Heavenly Father bestowed daily, so that whatever I might do or say, I could not look back at the close of the day with regret.”
Emma and Joseph Smith

Seeking Peace in Our Imperfections

I have two suggestions for finding peace in these moments of regret. I’ve tried both and found they yield similar results.

1. Apologize

If something is really bothering me, or if someone points out something unkind I’ve said, I try to make amends through an apology. This usually opens the door to a deeper connection with that person.

2. Let it go

On other occasions, I let it go and resolve to do better next time. For example, once when I said something I regretted, I brought my friend flowers without mentioning my blunder. I simply expressed my love for her. She responded with gratitude, sharing her own struggles and how much my gesture meant to her. This taught me that everyone needs to feel seen, and we should never suppress a kind thought or action.

I don’t think Emma Smith was perfect, but she continued to show up for herself and others, embodying the resilience we all strive for.

Emma’s Early Life and Marriage

Emma Hale was born on July 10, 1804, in Harmony, Pennsylvania, in a home that valued faith and education. Her father, Isaac Hale, was a respected farmer and hunter who provided Emma with opportunities for learning that many women of her time did not have. She was intelligent and well-spoken.

Emma married Joseph Smith against her father’s wishes. Isaac believed she was marrying below her due to Joseph’s lack of education and financial prospects, as well as his commitment to a religion he didn’t understand.

From the beginning, Emma was a true helpmeet for her husband. The term “helpmeet” signifies that they were equal in purpose, ability, and value. This partnership was evident in their marriage. While Joseph translated the Book of Mormon, Emma served as his scribe. She later recalled,

“When my husband was translating the Book of Mormon, I wrote a part of it, as he dictated each sentence… he could not pronounce… Even the word Sarah he could not pronounce at first, but had to spell it.”
Emma Smith

Enduring Trials and Tragedies

Emma endured constant persecution as they moved across Ohio, Missouri, and Nauvoo, Illinois. In February 1839, Joseph was imprisoned, leaving Emma to care for their four young children under eight, all while facing a governor’s extermination order against the saints. They fled across the frozen Mississippi River. Joseph III, who was seven at the time, later recalled how cold it was:

“Carrying in her arms my brothers Frederick and Alexander… my mother walked across the frozen river.”
Joseph Smith III

Emma wasn’t immortal. She once reflected,

“How often I have been made deeply sensible that my pilgrimage has been an arduous one.”
Emma Smith

In March 1832, Emma had to clean the sticky tar and feathers from Joseph after he was assaulted by a mob. Tragically, a few days later, their adopted son, Joseph Murdock Smith, died from exposure and the trauma endured that night. Emma also faced the heartache of losing several other children, including two unnamed sons and a daughter before the twins.

1841 and 1842 were particularly difficult years for Emma. In August 1841, their 14-month-old son Don Carlos died. In January 1842, Emma and Joseph opened a mercantile store. In February, Emma delivered another stillborn baby while Joseph was seriously ill. Just two weeks later, Emma’s mother passed away. Despite these overwhelming losses, she was ordained as the first president of the Relief Society of Nauvoo, a fulfillment of a promise made in a revelation from Joseph.

A Partnership in Faith

Emma and Joseph were devoted to each other, discussing revelations before sharing them with others. They were a true team. When Joseph received the revelation on the “new and everlasting covenant” they were thrilled by the promise of eternal marriage and the sealing of their family. Emma wanted the orphaned girls that they had taken in to be a part of their eternal family and to be sealed to them. Revelation was given a little at a time and perhaps misunderstood. Emma’s joy turned to heartbreak when she learned of Joseph taking additional wives without her knowledge. I can’t imagine the conversations that ensued, but they were reconciled and loved each other fiercely.

Emma was deeply committed to her family and Joseph’s legacy. Her choice was to forfeit the blessings associated with polygamy. I think I would do the same. She did not join Brigham Young in going west after Joseph’s martyrdom. She stayed in Nauvoo to care for her children and her mother-in-law. This brought some animosity from some members of the church.

A Legacy of Love

To her death, Emma denied that Joseph had other wives, facing the challenges of being distanced from church members who saw her as a deserter. She later married Lewis Bidamon in December 1847. He was a kind man, and although they did not have children together, Emma took in his son, Charles, from a previous relationship, raising him as her own.

As Emma approached the end of her life, she expressed unwavering faith in Joseph:

“I believe he was everything he professed to be.” This sentiment remained with her, regardless of the trials they faced.
Emma Smith

At her death, her son Alexander heard her call for Joseph, saying, “Joseph, Joseph,” and then responding, “Yes, yes, I’m coming,” before slumping back on the pillow and passing away.

Emma’s love and grace as a mother are evident in her statement:

“If there is anything in this world that I am, or ever was proud of, it is the honor and integrity of my children.”
Emma Smith

She chose to give God the glory for their accomplishments, teaching her descendants to rise up and be called blessed.

Conclusion

Emma Smith is not so different from the women I have met and interviewed on this podcast. She is as complicated as all of us, filled with strengths and weaknesses. While it’s easy to focus on the negatives, I believe it’s more uplifting to celebrate the good.

Thank you for joining me on this bonus episode of Sendy Mom. If you found Emma’s story inspiring, please share this episode with someone who could use a little extra courage today. Until next time, keep pushing forward, take those bold steps, and remember—you are stronger than you think. Do something hard today and just send it!

Disclaimer: I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The opinions expressed in this podcast are my own and not from the Church. Please enjoy the resources I used in producing this episode.